2006 Oscar nominations are up!

Via Ain't It Cool News. Comments will be in itallics after the noms.

Film
Brokeback Mountain
Crash
Good Night And Good Luck
Munich
Capote

What? They nominated an old David Cronenberg movie over his newest ones? My brain aches like a new flesh organ. The incredibly political nature of the nominations will be great fodder for Stweart to play with, methinks If the Golden Globes are correct, Bareback Mounting, aka Gay Cowboys Eating Pudding shall win best picture

Director:
Ang Lee (Brokeback)
George Clooney (Good Night)
Paul Haggis (Crash)
Bennett Miller (Capote)
Steven Spielberg (Munich)
Spielberg has already one Oscar for a movie involving dead Jews so I guess that's out.

Actor:
Heath Ledger (Brokeback)
Joaquin Phoenix (Walk The Line)
Terrence Howard (Hustle And Flow)
David Strathairn (Good Night)
Philip Seymour Hoffman (Capote)

Having only seen, out of all these movies, Hustle and Flow, Terrence Howard is getting my vote. If I could vote.

Lady Actor:
Judi Dench (Mrs Henderson Presents)
Reese Witherspoon (Walk The Line)
Felicity Huffman (Transamerica)
Charlize Theron (North Country)
Keira Knightley - (Pride & Prej)

The real question is why Keira Knightly's boobs were not nominated for their role in Domino? I guess that's more of a supporting role, when you think about it.

Supporting Actor:
George Clooney (Syriana)
Jake Gyllenhaal (Brokeback)
Matt Dillon (Crash)
Paul Giametti (Cinderalla Man)
William Hurt (History of Violence)
I'm suprised that the Oscar voters actually remebered Cinderella Man. Will this be the year that Giametti? Doubtful. Why did Jake Gyllenhaal get the nomination for best supporting actor? It's obvious, he was the bottom.

Supporting Lady Actor:
Rachel Weisz (Constant Gardener)
Amy Adams (Junebug)
Catherine Keener (Capote)
Frances McDormand (North Country)
Michelle Williams (Brokeback)

Animated Feature
Howl's Moving Castle
Corpse Bride
Wallace & Gromit
Holy fuck, Corpse Bride was shit

Screenplay:
Good Night And Good Luck
Capote
Crash
Match Point
The Squid & The Whale
Syriana
Meanwhile, in Japan, the Squid and the Whale has been nominated for best porno involving seafood and fat chicks.

Adapted Screenplay:
Brokeback Mountain
Capote
The Constant Gardener
A History Of Violence
Munich
Sin City, the best movie involving testicle rippage EVAR!, not nominated for best adapted screenplay?

Cinematography:
Batman Begins
Brokeback Mountain
Good Night and Good Luck
Memoirs of a Geisha
The New World
I didn't see Memoirs if a Geisha and it screamed "Oscar Bait". I feel vindicated seeing that it wasn't nominated for top awards. Bwa hah hah. Fuck *you*, Rob Marshall! I would have liked to see Sin City get a nomination, but I guess prominant casteration has forced the balls of the Academy voters to ascend into their bodies as a protective measure. Instead, we have a movie where glistening cocks are filmed in lucious technicolour. Very yin yang.

Editing:
The Constant Gardener
Crash
Munich
Walk the Line
Cinderella Man
Even though Domino was shit, it deserves a nod for best editing

Art Direction:
Good Night and Good Luck
King Kong
Memoirs of a Geisha
Pride & Prejudice
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
I haven't seen Memoirs of a Geisha, but one of the reviews for the movie made me convinced that it'll win. At one point in the movie, there's a voice over in broken engrish about how the war is coming to Japan. The camera is focused on the water, which slowly turns red. It pans up river and we see the reason. It's a group of geisha, menstuating together in the river, their moon blood turning the water scarlet. Go, ham fisted Hollywood metaphor!

Costume Design:
Memoirs of a Geisha
Walk the Line
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Mrs Henderson Presents
Pride & Prejudice

Original Score:
Brokeback Mountain
The Constant Gardener
Memoirs of a Geisha
Munich
Pride & Prejudice

Original Song:
Hustle & Flow ("It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp")
Crash ("In the Deep")
Transamerica ("Travelin' Thru")
Fun fact: did you know that "It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp" was originally called "Pimping Ain't Easy, But My Girls Are"? DJ Quails, who is fucking street, suggested to the director to change the title. Also up there, a song from a movie about transsexuals a by a singer whose breasts look as fake as bottom level shemale, Dolly Parton.

Makeup:
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Cinderella Man
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Sound:
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
King Kong
Memoirs of a Geisha
Walk the Line
War of the Worlds
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe would have had more pull if they had Brian "fucking cunt!" Cox doing the voice of Aslan.

Sound Editing:
King Kong
Memoirs of a Geisha
War of the Worlds
War of hte Worlds is the only movie this year that actually made you notice sound editing and that's worth a win without a doubt.

Visual Effects:
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
King Kong
War of the Worlds
King Kong's gonna win this one, no contest.

Forn Language:
Joyeux Noël (France)
Sophie Scholl - Die letzten Tage (Germany)
Paradise Now (Palestine)
Tsotsi (South Africa)
Don't Tell (Italy)
What? No Kim Ki-Duk movies? Fah!

Documentary:
Darwin's Nightmare
Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room
Marche de l'empereur
Murderball
Street Fight
For something like the third year in a row, the documentaries have the most interesting nominations

Short Documentary:
God Sleeps in Rwanda
A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin
The Life of Kevin Carter
The Mushroom Club

Short Cartoon:
Badgered
The Moon and the Son
One Man Band
The Mysterious Geographic Explorations of Jasper Morello
9

Short Film:
Ausreißer
Cashback
Síðasti bærinn í dalnum
Our Time Is Up
Six Shooter
Classified under: Oscars,movies,awards

Bin Laden's right hand man releases poetry tape

Remember that bit on the Daily Show where Jon joked that Bin Laden was going to release a mix tape of his best anti-American rants done to heavy rap beats? It hasn't happened yet but we're getting there. Al-Zawahiri, Bin Laden's number two has just released a tape that features him reciting 17 minutes of poetry.

It is posted on numerous jihadist Web sites and described by the radical Web sites as a eulogy for the martyrs in the crusaders' attacks on Afghanistan

He dedicated his message to the "mujahedeen brothers in Palestine, Iraq and Chechnya, and to the lions who are targeting the crusaders in Afghanistan in its villages and mountains."

If there's *any* justice someone in the Arab world will turn it into a dance track. If they can do that with "I can eat a knob at night", they can do anything.
Classified under: Al-Zawahiri,poetry

Need More Ricky Gervais, Steven Merchant and Karl Pilkington?

I believe we've linked to this before a long time ago, but given the massive success of The Ricky Gervais Show podcasts, I'd say it's worth a second mention. For those of you who are fearful of the approaching end of this season of podcasts (episode 9 is up in a series of 12) have no fear, for you can get your fix of Karl Pilkington's underinformed naivety and the bullying by Ricky Gervais and Steven Merchant that follows in these archives of their time at UK's Xfm.

Edit: If you want to download the older episodes in their complete form you can always go here to do so.
Classified under: Ricky Gervais

News that makes you go "Duh!"

LEXINGTON, Ky. - A school has decided that showing the R-rated movie “The 40 Year-Old Virgin” is not an appropriate high school Spanish lesson.

Long story short, a dumb-ass teacher was fired. Slightly more info here.

Classified under: webjunk,news

Check out the trailer for the awesome documentary, the Mindscape of Alan Moore

If you're a comic fan, 2006 looks to be a good year for you. The first novels by comic writers Grant Morrison (an excerpt is available, but the page makes my eyes bleed) and Warren Ellis will be coming out later this summer. If you're an uber nerd, stuff like Infinite Crisis and Civil War will keep you interested. But the coolest thing coming out this year that's related to comics that's *not* a comic looks to be the documentary about Alan Moore called, naturally, the Mindscape of Alan Moore. The documentary focuses on Moore explaining his views on comic writing and magick. Not only that, but in true documentary fashion it features recreations of some of Moore's most iconic comic moments.
Classified under: Alan Moore,trailers

Bollywood Is Batshit crazy, part two: 10 Year Old directs movie

We at MKZ have covered the weirdness of Bollywood before (an Oldboy remake with the protagonist using a samurai sword instead of a hammer? The mind boggles!), but until now, it's been on the bizzare world of Bollywood remakes. Today, we're breaking with tradition to introduce the world to Kishan Shrikanth a famous Indian actor since he was 4, turned director, aged 10.

"When I was six years old, I saw slum children selling newspapers at a traffic signal and I asked my dad why they are... ... not like us. Why they do not go to schools.

"My dad said they do not have parents. I felt very bad and thought I must do something for them," Kishan told the BBC. "Then I wrote a short story and read it to my dad who narrated it to his friends as well. It was my dad's friends who suggested that I should direct the film myself, as I had written the story."

Although the idea that a child can be responsible for making a motion picture, one should realize that Racer Rodriguez (aged 7, take *that*, mother fuckers!) was responsible for co-writing Robert Rodriguez's follow up to Sin City, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D. It should be noted that the dilemmas posed in Sharkboy and Lavagirl, how to defend a dream world from reality, are more pressing to most people than homelessness. 'Nuff said.
Classified under: Bollywood,

Only in Asia: Transexual Model/Pop Singer To Sell Menstrual Pad On TV

I used to think that the Japanese were certifiable, but thanks to this news, the South Koreans are giving them a run for their money. Korea's premier transexual pop singer Haris (yes, there's more than one of them) has had a long run of wild sucess in Korea ever since she was discovered learning to become a hair dresser. She's been a model ( a nude in fact) an actress for a weird avant garde Korean movie and has recorded a hit album in Korea. Now, she's taking the next logical step and doing commercials for menstrual pads.

Up till now, male stars like Go Su and Gam U-seong have appeared in sanitary napkin ads, but never has a transgender individual appeared in an ad for such a feminine product. The Taiwanese firm UFT really tried hard to cast Harisu in its ads. In fact, when the singer first learned what the company wanted her to market, she was quite hesitant to agree to the project.

UFT, however, explained that the sanitary pads are a cutting-edge product that not only gives women that spring-fresh feeling, but also prevents menstrual cramps. Hearing this, the singer eventually accepted the offer.

That's right, kids. In Korea you have men and transsexuals shilling for an object that is undisputably feminine. I only hope to see a similar commercial here where we have the Rock blowing away badguys and plugging his bullet wounds with kotex. Nothing's manlier than that.

Classified under: advertising,transsexuals,Harisu,Korea

Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure

I just stumbled across this, and as someone who played (and was quite bad at) these text adventures in his youth, I found it hilarious:


> GO PHOTOOP
Photo Op
You are at a the Emma T. Booker Elementary School, along with a gaggle of obsequious members of the mainstream media.
There is a book here.
There are some children here.

> READ BOOK
You read "My Pet Goat."

In the distance, terrorists attack the United States.

> READ BOOK
You continue to read "My Pet Goat."


Classified under: politics, text adventure

Brick trailer

I had never heard of this film before just a few minutes ago. But I just watched this trailer and I am fucking blown away. A Film Noir of what looks to be astounding originality.
Ebert loves it, Harry Knowles loves it, and more importantly (because I respect his opinion more than any other film critic) Peter Travers of Rolling Stone called it his favorite film from Sundance this year.
Just seriously. Take a look at it, it looks incredible.

Classified under: Brick,trailer

Buck 65's Devil's Eyes video

Gorgeous film noir video for Buck 65's amazing haunting and yes, catchy song Devil's Eyes. You must watch it! YOU MUST!



Classified under: Buck 65,music video

Superhero religions

Whilst our pope does his best superhero cape impression, I've always wondered what religion our superheroes have. Through this fairly extensive site, you can visit the reasoning behind their certain associations with each superhero's potential relgion.

Classified under: religion, comics

Sex Ed Commercial

I said a rap-rap-a-rap and a ring-a-rang-dong this is how the penis and vagina get along.

Classified under: sex,video

CBC Radio Interview about Old Time Comics (with Jeet Heer)

They discuss Windsor McKay's Little Nemo, Dick Tracy and why Little Orphan Annie is an extreme Right-wing allegory, and such. An interesting 20 minutes. Also check here for many more interesting CBC Radio One interviews on a wide-ranging array of topics, including issues related to tomorrow's federal election.

Classified under: CBC,comics

This is seriously the sexiest thing I've seen in a while.

I'm pretty sure that many of the male viewers of our site love Asian women in the Yellow Fever sense. Along that lines I love women with glasses and that's a big turn on. So already finding a sexy woman with glasses is pretty lucky already. Her being a celebrity is probably a mondo bonus, but what really drives me insane is one who can play vid games with the fury of a gaming beast.

Dunno if any of you know much about Utada Hikaru, but she's pretty damn big in the J-Pop world and was the singer of the title track for the PS2 game Kingdom Hearts. In fact she's uber big although now her popularity as of now had declined. But seeing her fucking BEAST on Tetris just turns me on to no end. If only we can all find such women with such great skills and great looks.

Classified under: Utada Hikaru, Tetris

Bigfoot footage stabilized (gif)

2006 looks like a big year for Bigfoot thanks to the sighting in Malaysia. For sasquatch affictionados who don't have the ability to trek to the east, there has always been the imfamous big foot vidoes which can be seen here. Unfortunately, most vidoes feature camera work that would make the Blair Witch Project look downright artful. This has changed thanks to technology and the ability to stablize video. Check out this link to see the famous Patterson footage in it's unchunky glory.
Classified under: bigfoot,cryptozoology

Audio Interview (Horcast) with Frank Quitely

This was brought to my attention via Drawn! but you can praise me too. Enjoy.

Classified under: Frank Quitely,All-Star Superman

Was Ancient Man Threatened by Birds?

Anyone who has had a meal with me, knows of my afinity of the classic horror novel, the Birds and the Bees which deals with mankind's greatest. Acording to a recent new report it seems like the horror contained in the novel actually might have basis in fact. The article says that

eagles would swoop down, pierce monkey skulls with their thumb-like back talons, then hover while their prey died before returning to tear at the skull. Examination of thousands of monkey remains produced a pattern of damage done by birds, including holes and ragged cuts in the shallow bones behind the eye sockets

Doesn't this make you reconsider keeping fowl as pets? In the past I considered the sound of the chickadee the sweet sound of a warm summer, but now, I interpret it as a death rattle from mankind's past.
Classified under: birds,

Final Arrested Development Episodes To Air Feb 10

There be mild spoilers in this here link.Adding insult to injury, they're airing the last four episodes against the Olympics. What a way to end the show. Add your bitches and shit to comments about how bad this is and how sad it is that we won't be seeing a Ricky Gervais episode.
Classified under: Arrested Development,

Live Action Punch-Out!

This is a Japanese group called "Famicom band" that performs music from numerous Famicom and Super Famicom (NES and SNES) games. Anyway, they totally capture the game.

Classified under: video games, Punch-Out, nintendo

CLERKS 2 TEASER TRAILER

Looks like this time around they won't be working at the Quick Stop or RST Video. This time it's Mooby's. I can't wait.

Classified under: Clerks 2,trailer

Pac-Man Puppet Show!

This is the awesomest thing I've seen all week. Almost makes me want to sign up for GameTap on the spot.

Classified under: video games, Pac-Man, puppets

the Red Ranger Returns to the Small Screen (not safe for your brain)

For those who stay up late at night and wonder what happened to the cast of the Power Rangers after their stint, allow me to put you to sleep. Actor Austin St. John who played Jason Lee Scott, aka the Red Ranger has been recently seen diversifying his film repetoire, doing what many people consider to be his most difficult, or perhaps hardest, role ever.
Classified under: Power Rangers,porn

Jon from Garfield drinks dog semen?

Am I the only one completely baffled by this comic? Shouldn't Garfield be aware that drinking semen doesn't make you pregnent? Does this mean that Liz is *really* fucked up? I'm suprised that this didn't get any complaints from parents. Surely injesting dog semen isn't kosher.

Classified under: Garfield,

Flickr.mov

What do you get when you write a folk song about random flickr pictures?

Magic.

Classified under: flickr, music video

Trailer for first non-David Icke related 9/11 movie is up

...that is, if you can call radar imagry of an icon of a plane traveling backwards a trailer. I, for one, hope that the complete film is done like that and that the small super 8-esque clip near the end was a horrible aberation. Cinema needs more radio dramas with radar iconography for those with short attention spans.
Classified under: 9/11,trailers,Paul Greengrass,Flight 93

A music video featuring female masturbation? Yes please!

Thank God for Japan! The land that brought us glorious concepts such as cockroach porn and vibrators based on cartoon characters comes a music video by the band Blue Heart (who?) that contains female masturbation. Is it explicit? Sadly, no. But it does contain bizzare juxtoposition where a woman's nipple is used to launch a rocket (take notes, NASA) and a tank drives around treacherous mountainous areas known as breasts.
Classified under: masturbation,music videos,the Blue Hearts

Nintendo DS game proposes to teach girls about sexuality

You always knew that having a "touch" screen would lead to this.



Apparently, the idea is to reward players for tickling, touching, tapping, and stroking a cartoon bunny correctly. If you do, it will become more and more excited until it starts flying.

I first heard about this through an IGN article. Rob managed to google up the article linked above which has more quotes from the designer. You can see her explanation of the game here and get the prototype demo here.

Classified under: sex ed, video games, Nintendo DS

Marvel releases theme song for Warren Ellis' NextWave (mp3)

My buddy Mike and I have been disputing how fucking awesome the new Elliscomic, NextWave is going to be. Mike cites Ellis' diminishing returns as of late as well as, acording to him, Stuart Immonen's poor designs. Me, I dig Immonen's character designs and I particularily like his covers for the comic. They look like something that Team Viewtiful would bring out. We reached an impass, unable to change each other unassailable positions. That is...until now. Enter the NextWave theme song, a bastard abomination crossfucks music from Saturday morning cartoons with hell knows what. The theme song is an instant sale, and you'd be a sucker not to pick it up.
Classified under: Warren Ellis,NextWave,mp3

Marriage under siege! Woman marries dolphin!

When I say the word "Santorum" what's the first thing that crosses your mind? For the most of you, the phrase "the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex" will probably come to mind. For me, there isn't a phrase that sums up Santorum, rahter it's a word; that word is visionary. In 2003 he decried homosexual unions, saying that it would open the door for "man on dog" marriage. Pundits complained that Santorum was crazy, but let this new news vindicate him. Acording to a recent article an American woman just married a dolphin, the animal most associated to Satan after the snake. This news proves that the insidious "homosexual agenda" is destroying marriage and poluting our values. Shame on you, anal sex loving homosexualists! Shame on you and your well oiled bodies squeezed in delicious leather!
Classified under: marriage,homosexual agenda,

Thank you for smoking trailer

Looks positivly deadly for your funny bone.
Classified under: Thank You For Smoking,